Cleared!!

Friday morning we got the results we had been praying for!! His scans are normal and he is clear!! Praise God! 

Trent's neurologist said it is still not clear what happened but it was probably what is called a cavernoma or cavernous malformation of the brain.  To read more about this click here http://brainavm.oci.utoronto.ca/malformations/Cavernomas_index.htm

We asked him what are the chances it could happen again and he couldn't tell us but he reassured us his scans are clear now.  In 3 months we will see him again for a follow-up but no scans, and next May (a year from when it happened) we will do another MRI. 

He told Trent he is free to be a normal kid again!!!!  Trent did a fist pump and said, "YES!!!!!!!"  Charly and I both took a deep breath!

After meeting up with one of our favorite PICU nurses and running a few errands we headed home packed up the camper and headed off for a little family getaway!! Trent got to run, jump, wrestle with his siblings and swim underwater!  We had a great time! 

We feel incredibly blessed by all the prayers, love and support from our family and friends!  Thank you all so much!  We would not be where we are today without all of you!

Love,
Shelby

While we wait...

Tomorrow is a BIG day!  I'm anxious, nervous and excited all at the same time!  We've been waiting for this appointment all summer!  We will get Trent's results and I truly believe we will hear that he is "cleared"!  My faith tells me this, my gut tells me this and he has done so well that I just feel that's what is going to happen. 

So then what?  How do we "do normal" again?  I have struggled, my family has struggled, through these past couple months.  Shouldn't I be on Cloud 9 and just loving life everyday and so thankful that Trent is healed?  YES!!!!  We are incredibly thankful and feel so blessed to have him here and to have witnessed the miracle God gave us!  Don't get me wrong, I feel so blessed by the amount of prayers and support we have seen and his outcome is truly a miracle.  Am I sad?  Yes.  Do I care about all the little things anymore? No. Do I want to leave my house?  Not really.  Do I care if my house is spotless?  No. (Crazy I know!) Do I care if we aren't involved in everything or anything and "doing it all" all the time?  No.  I know, this has really put things into perspective and I realize what is important now, but this feeling I have isn't just about that.  I just feel "blah" is the only way I can describe it.  I feel that if I just stay on an even, steady line we won't have any "ups" but we won't have any "downs" either.  Does that even make sense?!

Do I feel incredibly guilty for feeling this way?  Yes.  I really feel like I should be shouting from the rooftops how great I feel, but I cannot.  Why do I feel guilty?  Because there are so many people who I'm sure would turn the world upside down to feel how I am feeling rather than feeling the loss of their babies.  I have two friends who lost their little boys and my heart breaks for them.  I hate feeling this way, knowing it could be so much worse.  Trent's pediatrician said she looked at his first scans that were done in Pullman and she cannot believe he survived a bleed that severe!  She's never seen a bleed that bad where someone lived.  And not only survived but so far has no deficits.  I relive that awful plane ride every single day.  We watched kids die in the PICU and I know things could have been so much worse, but being that close to his death has, in lack of better words, screwed me up:\

My counselor, yes I am seeing a counselor, tells me these feelings are very, very normal.  Back to counseling for a minute.  I was strongly encouraged by Trent's doctors, nurses and my family to see a counselor.  Not only did we go through hell, but Trace was with Trent when his symptoms first started, was with me on that awful car ride to the hospital and was in the ER with us in Pullman, so he is going to counseling as well because being a hero to your brother is a lot for an 11 year to have to go through.  Does Trent need counseling?  As of right now, we don't think so.  He doesn't remember all the really bad stuff, thank you God.  All he knows is that he doesn't want to have to be back in the hospital again:)

People ask me all the time, "Are you just on edge all the time and scared about what is going to happen?"  No, I'm not.  We truly believe everything happens for a reason.  We believe God has BIG plans for Trent and we cannot wait to see what that plan is!  I feel that if God put us through all of that and kept him alive then there is a reason Trent is here!!  I have never asked, "why us God?"  I have never been angry at him. We take one day at a time and God, and our family, will get us through this.  He is in control and we firmly believe he will not give us more than we can handle.  Whatever he has in store for us next we will take it one step at a time and know he has a plan! He has blessed us with an incredible gift and we do not take that lightly. 

We are forever changed, for the better I believe. 

Love,
Shelby

MRI/Angiogram Day

We've been waiting for this day for over a month!  Scans will be done today and we will get the results on Friday! It will be a long couple of days!

A little pre-procedure snack!

"Please Mom!"

"Trent it's 8:45!"

"But mom they taste just like the ones in the hospital!"

"Ok fine;)"

#thanksstarbucks

A quick picture before heading in;)

A quick IV start and some very important questions pertaining to what music Trent would like to listen to! A little Jason Aldean, Rodney Atkins and Casting Crowns please;)

Some pre-procedure explanations and details.

Thumbs up! We are ready!

We are praying they find nothing on these images and Trent gets "cleared" to enjoy

the rest of his summer!!!

Thank you all for your prayers and support!  We would not have made it this far without

all of you! 

God is Good!

Love,

Shelby

A day in the life of Trent

Holy cow!  It's been a long time since I blogged, but I love reading other blogs (early in the morning;) so I thought I'd give it a try again,

I like reading A day in the life posts so I thought I'd do one about Trent's "new normal" right now;)

I picked a day that we didn't have a lot planned and tried to remember to get pictures!

Trent has graduated from sleeping in our room to sleeping in the office;)  He is able to do stairs but he still wakes up sometimes during the night with a headache or just not feeling well, so I didn't want him going up and down the stairs in the middle of the night. 

He is our early morning riser, usually before 6:30 but this morning he slept until 7:40!  When he wakes up he goes straight to the big chair and likes to watch T.V.  However, someone got up before him and beat him to his spot:) 

On his way back from the barn after feeding steers.

This was the only other morning picture I got, but the rest of the morning consisted of flying kites, playing on his kindle fire and probably watching Zootopia (for the millionth time)!

On this day we got a visit from one of our favorite PICU nurses!!!  We love Jama and were so blessed that she wanted to come visit and see how Trent was doing.  She will always hold a special place in our hearts!

Thank you for visiting us Jama!

Trent had asked all weekend if he could wash his steer so he finally got to.  His last really fun memory before his bleed was spent up at the Jr Livestock Show with this big guy!  I caught him trying to give Junior a kiss but also being quick to move in case that big tongue came out to kiss him back!

The rest of the afternoon was spent in and out of the pool (he hasn't been cleared to swim with his head underwater yet, so he basically just walks around or sits on the floaty). 

A couple pictures from dinner, minus some family members:)  Trace was at a birthday party, Lola fell asleep (watching Zootopia again!) and Charly was at work.

Of course I didn't get anymore pictures the rest of the night (oops), but they fed steers and ended their night watching Monty Walsh with Charly and went to bed:)

Have a blessed day!

Shelby